Chemo #6 Finished

Well, chemo #6 is over….at least the infusion part but I still have the 3 weeks for it to work its way out of my system.

I got a certificate signed by all the nurses at the Cancer Center. My nurse that day was very kind and congratulated me. She told me many stories of people with very advanced cancer who are still living today. It was encouraging.

I find that I’m not as joyful as I thought I would be at this being my last chemo. Why is that? Is it because there is still 6 weeks of radiation to go through? Is it because you can never tell if cancer is really gone? Is it because I’m tired and not thinking straight? A place for some thinking. I am glad that I won’t have to have any more chemo; that I won’t have to hibernate; that I won’t have to think about germs; that my hair will grow back.

I remember a song from the News Boys that I sang over and over when our daughter had a joint illness that we could find no rhyme or reason for. It said “Lord, I don’t know where all this is going or how it all works out. Lead me to peace that is past understanding, a peace beyond all doubt. Oh, Lord you are the author redeeming what’s been done. You hold us in the present and all that is to come.” I guess this is a bit of what I am experiencing. Still in a bit of denial maybe that I’ve had a cancerous tumor removed. Where is this going? How will it all work out? My peace comes from knowing God is the author. He redeems, holds me in the present, and knows all that is to come. Faith.

Grace to you,

jane