You will waste your cancer if you grieve as those who have no hope.
Paul used this phrase in relation to those whose loved ones had died: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). There is a grief at death. Even for the believer who dies, there is temporary loss—loss of body, and loss of loved ones here, and loss of earthly ministry. But the grief is different—it is permeated with hope. “We would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). Don’t waste your cancer grieving as those who don’t have this hope.
DP: Show the world this different way of grieving. Paul said that he would have had “grief upon grief” if his friend Epaphroditus had died. He had been grieving, feeling the painful weight of his friend’s illness. He would have doubly grieved if his friend had died. But this loving, honest, God-oriented grief coexisted with “rejoice always” and “the peace of God that passes understanding” and “showing a genuine concern for your welfare.” How on earth can heartache coexist with love, joy, peace, and an indestructible sense of life purpose? In the inner logic of faith, this makes perfect sense. In fact, because you have hope, you may feel the sufferings of this life morekeenly: grief upon grief. In contrast, the grieving that has no hope often chooses denial or escape or busyness because it can’t face reality without becoming distraught. In Christ, you know what’s at stake, and so you keenly feel the wrong of this fallen world. You don’t take pain and death for granted. You love what is good, and hate what is evil. After all, you follow in the image of “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.” But this Jesus chose his cross willingly “for the joy set before him.” He lived and died in hopes that all come true. His pain was not muted by denial or medication, nor was it tainted with despair, fear, or thrashing about for any straw of hope that might change his circumstances. Jesus’ final promises overflow with the gladness of solid hope amid sorrows: “My joy will be in you, and your joy will be made full. Your grief will be turned to joy. No one will take your joy away from you. Ask, and you will receive, so that your joy will be made full. These things I speak in the world, so that they may have my joy made full in themselves” (selection from John 15-17).
JG: “How on earth can heartache coexist with love, joy, peace, and an indestructible sense of lie purpose?” I don’t know. But again, this is something that God has been teaching me over the last couple of years. He invites us to grieve but not to be devastated in it. He is with us in our grief and undergirds it with joy because of who he is and what he is doing in the midst of it. I’m still learning this and cancer has accelerated the learning process. I can grieve and feel the pain and loss; I don’t have to deny it or sugarcoat it. But it doesn’t lead to despair because of my hope is in God’s care in and control over it. This is one of those both/and places in the Christian life. Another of those places where we walk in tension holding two truths at the same time. We grieve loss; we feel deep pain when we hurt and when others hurt. But also there is joy because we have hope in a God who is abounding in mercy and steadfast love. “as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing…” (2Corinthians 6:10)
Material is from Don’t Waste Your Cancer by John Piper, copyright 2010. © Desiring God
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