Last Wednesday, Oct 12 was day 14 after my first chemo round. That was the day that my hair could start falling out. It did.
Today, October 17 is day 19 and enough hair has fallen out that I had Marc buzz it off. Sarah and Derek came over for moral support. As Marc took the buzzers to my head, I screamed one of those screams that comes when the roller coaster plunges for the first time down that long track. What have I done?!
I settled down and relaxed a bit while Marc worked away. The kids were taking pictures and video. They were very encouraging; assuring me my head has a nice shape. I looked at the pictures in the camera and I was ok but when Marc took me in the bathroom to look in the mirror, I gasped in shock and covered my face sobbing. The woman looking back at me was a cancer patient. Reality keeps hitting me in the face.
Why is losing my hair so unnerving? Loss of control. Reality. I have cancer. I don’t want this. Chemo drugs are killing cells.
Jesus, be my comfort. Let me see this with your perspective.
Psalm 25 has been a comfort to me in the uncertainties of the last few months.
“To you, O LORD, I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust; let me not be put to shame…” Psalm 25:2
I invite you to read the whole Psalm. It is wonderful.
jane
On the Greisen Side of Life 
This was so hard to read….I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say. So glad that Sarah and Derek were there to encourage you. Marc is kind and gentle, what a gift.